Don't Let Worry Steal Your Joy!
Kathy Collard Miller is a women's conference speaker and author of 49 books. Her newest book encourages women to trust God more and worry less.
“Worry often isn't considered detrimental, just something that takes up time,” Kathy says, “but worry not only steals our joy in God, it can have destructive influence in our soul, spirit, and body.”
I can understand Kathy's comment. I've seen worry cause women to react negatively toward those they love and even get depressed.
Kathy continues …
In our relationships, there are three things worry can't do and three things we can do.
1. Worry can't communicate love. Some women think that if they tell a loved one they are worried about them, that will express love. But it actually communicates you think your loved one is incapable of making good decisions and that God isn't powerful enough to give help.
Instead, we can upgrade our relationships by clearly expressing love through words of confidence in that loved one (even if they aren't perfect) and trust in God's power to guide and help. Say, “I'm praying for you and I love you. I know the Lord will guide you.”
2. Worry can't control others. You may think, “If only he would....” or “If only she will just...” their circumstances will change. We even try to control them through our prayers, telling God how to work in their lives, believing He should work in them a certain way.
Instead, we can upgrade our relationships by praying for God's will in their lives. Believe it or not, what you think is the absolutely best thing for someone might not be! Only God can see the total picture and know what's best for them and will bring Him glory.
3. Worry can't change others. We think our worry will cause a change in a person's character or increase their faith in God. As a result, we are compelled to argue, cajole, quote Scripture—even manipulate—to force a change in their perspective.
Instead, we can upgrade our relationships by listening instead of worrying. Asking questions and truly hearing their heart has more influence than worry trying to force a change.
As you think of those three blocks and the three upgrades, which upgrade do you want to work on?
GIVEAWAY: Make a comment today here (or on the Upgrade Facebook page) about which "worry upgrade" you'll work on, and your name will be entered into a drawing for Kathy's new book, Partly Cloudy with Scattered Worries: Finding Peace in All Kinds of Weather after it is released. (Drawing: October 15.)
Kathy Collard Miller has spoken in 30 states and seven foreign countries. She has 49 published books including Women of the Bible: Smart Guide to the Bible 
(Thomas Nelson) and she blogs regularly. Kathy lives in Southern California with Larry, her husband of 43 years, and is a mom and grandma. Kathy and Larry often speak together at marriage events and retreats.
Photo: Red umbrella Image courtesy of stockimages
Kathy Collard Miller, Peace, Upgrade with Dawn, Worry Upgrade Your Life Attitudes
Reader Comments (8)
Wow! Do I ever need to read this book. I certainly do worry and quote scripture and cajole in hopes to change others. Thank you for this book. May Partly Cloudy bless many!
I find myself in a season of life where I can become consumed with worry for those I love in the late night hours. Although, I pray and turn to God's Word, I find it harder than normal to bring these worries under control. I am very much looking forward to reading Kathy's book to spur me on, especially as I work to upgrade my life about worry not being able to change others.
Kathy has written another awesome book, check it out. It will enhance your walk with the Lord.
Hi, I think Kathy's book is so important. I'm sure it will help many find their way through worry to holding onto God.
I am a lot better than I used to be; I am very aware of the things that tempt me to worry, so have put in place a structure that helps me look to God instead.
Although I've always considered myself a listener, I know I still need to improve on not worrying in order to change others. My focus will be to listen to God's voice as I listen to others to avoid feeling compelled to contribute my opinion when unnecessary. Sometimes others just need an understanding heart and a gentle hug.
Although I've always considered myself a listener, I know I still need to improve on not worrying in order to change others. My focus will be to listen to God's voice as I listen to others to avoid feeling compelled to contribute my opinion when unnecessary. Sometimes others just need an understanding heart and a gentle hug.
It's funny there was a segment on Dr. Oz yesterday about worry and I wish the lady who was so consumed with worry knew about Kathy's book.The part I want to work on most is "we can upgrade our relationships by listening instead of worrying." I read the book some years ago. I probably need to reread it:)
I love this book…probably the key take away for me was…most of the things we worry about never happen. What a enormous amount of time we waste when we worry. I want to work on being "God focused" instead of "worry focused." Rereading the book and keeping it in my current book basket will help.