Kolleen Lucariello's creative thinking is amazing, and when it overlaps with biblical truth, her creativity is a positive, motivating force. Such is this Gratitude UPGRADE.

"Relationships are like tractor-trailers," Kolleen says.

I (Dawn) think that's such an intriguing thought! Whatever could Kolleen mean by that? I think you'll be surprised. (This is so good!)

Kolleen continues . . .

The words breezed through my mind and touched down in my heart as I stared mindlessly at the back-end of the tractor-trailer. 

This had been going on for what felt like a gazillion miles as my husband and I shared Interstate 40 with the truckers while in the midst of a cross-country adventure. 

“Odd thought,” I mused.

But the thought wouldn’t leave me. As I reflected on it, a comparison began to form.

You see, I’d lost appreciation for tractor-trailer drivers after losing a friend in an accident years ago. Now, fear caused an accumulation of attitude toward the big trucks.

It’s rather amazing how one experience taints—causing overgeneralization—don’t you think?

But now, after thousands of miles, I grew to have a new appreciation for those driving professionally. They spend so much time on the road driving from one destination to another, entrusted with cargo to be delivered to a distribution center.

• The cargo they carry has worth.
• It has a purpose.
• It has the potential to fulfill desires and meet needs.

Once the cargo arrives at the distribution center, it is placed in a new truck to be delivered to the destination it was intended.

So how are relationships like tractor-trailers?

In the same way the driver has a responsibility to deliver the cargo entrusted to them to the distribution center—fully intact and unharmed—perhaps we’ve been given a similar responsibility for one another by God.

We are, after all, all precious cargo to Him. 

Unfortunately, I find my eyesight fails me from that perspective when, similar to my view of tractor-trailers, a wounded heart clouds my perception, creating little gratitude FOR one another, but oh-so-much attitude WITH one another.

Can you relate? 

Hurt is very persuasive. Left unchecked, hurt upon hurt builds greater attitudes and less gratitude for those around us.

When we allow our attitudes to sour towards others it becomes less appealing to travel beside one another.  

Would that change if we had a different perspective of God’s purpose for relationship?

Could relationship upgrades be possible if we:

• Acknowledged every person, as God’s creation, has worth (Genesis 1:27).
• Accepted God’s call to motivate one another to fulfill their intended purpose (Hebrews 10:24).
• Relished in the opportunity God has given us to meet a need for such a time as this (Esther 4:14).

I often fail to see people the way God does. Sometimes, rather than allow God to choose the cargo of His choice for my life, I’ve predetermined differences are too great, personalities will collide, or we lack commonality.

But, Phillip Barry wrote, “The time to make your mind up about people, is never.”

When we make up our mind about people, taking on attitudes rather than gratitude, we risk devaluing them. 

I can become a bit attitude-ish when I forget that God gives purpose to everyone.

He instructs me to use my words to build others up, according to their needs (Ephesians 4:29, emphasis mine). Their needs, not mine.

If I am always focused on me, how can I build others up to fulfill the purpose God has for them?  

Similar to a tractor trailer, I can’t carry people to the destination I’ve determined is best for them; nor can I give up halfway through the trip.

It sure can be tempting to disregard and dismiss someone due to the conflicts and differences of opinions when they arise. And, while relationships ebb and flow, we’ve become pretty quick at canceling deliveries.

But, have we taken the time to ask God what His plan was for our journey together? 

I’ve never been grateful for the injuries incurred through broken relationships. In fact, I gain more attitude than gratitude when a relationship sours and ends abruptly.

I know how tempting it can be to find an early exit off the ramp. “Just drop me here!” we beg when challenged by differences.

Yet, I wonder if—rather than me determining the distance I’m willing to go with someone who challenges my character—that is a decision God has already determined.

Did we make it to the distribution center He intended for us to go?

Or did we call it quits because we were mad? 

I think God’s design was for us to take turns picking up passengers at the distribution centers. Then, follow the example of Paul when he said:

I planted the seed in your hearts, and Apollos watered it, but it was God who made it grow” (1 Corinthians 3:6).

See? When the seed is planted, the watering begins, and God can produce the proper growth.

However, rotten attitudes wreak havoc on growth. 

We aren’t always going to be pleasant passengers on this journey.

John Maxwell says,

"Attitude isn’t everything, but it is one thing that can make a big difference in your life.”

Who’s the precious cargo God has entrusted you with to help deliver to a new destination? Are you full of attitude or gratitude for the opportunity? 

Kolleen Lucariello, #TheABCGirl, is the author of #beYOU: Change Your Identity One Letter at a Time and is the Co-Director of Activ8Her, Inc. She is passionate to every woman realize her identity in Christ and live accordingly. Kolleen and her hubby, Pat, make their home in Central New York. She’s the mom of three grown children and Mimi to six incredible grands. For more information about Kolleen, visit www.speakkolleen.com.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Rene Rauschenberger at Pixabay.

Yvonne Ortega has experienced many life struggles, and God has taught her many transferable truths that she shares with others. As we head toward Thanksgiving, many are hurting with great losses or are in crisis situations—and it may be difficult to be grateful. But in this Gratitude UPGRADE, Yvonne reminds us there are always ways to express our gratitude to God and cope with trials with His help.“On a 6:00 a.m. Thursday phone call to Aunt Bertha, my head swirled at her update," Yvonne said.

"‘Hospice will bring the oxygen machine today to our senior community suite and show me how to use it for Arthur (my uncle).’”

Like almost everyone, I (Dawn) never want to get a phone call like that. We hate to hear that those we love are not doing well. But even in times like that, there are positive things we can do. Yvonne reminds us that gratitude is a choice!

Yvonne continues . . .

Uncle Arthur has been a second father to me. I needed to travel north to see him.

Aunt Bertha said, “He’s lost 70 pounds and can’t eat or sleep.”

With the Thanksgiving season upon me, how could I be grateful?

1. I Prayed for Favor.

When Nehemiah faced a crisis, he wept, fasted, and prayed.

He said,

Lord, the God of heaven, the great and awesome God, who keeps his covenant of love with those who love him and keep his commandments, let your ear be attentive and your eyes open to hear the prayer your servant is praying before you day and night (Nehemiah 1:5-6).

I needed divine favor with TSA-precheck. I looked at the online form to complete and froze. I didn’t know how to answer half the questions.

My heartbeat heightened, and my stomach fluttered.

How could I fly without TSA-precheck with those dreaded airport security lines? How could I arrive in time to help the family?

As I dialed the TSA-precheck phone number, my fingers trembled; but God used a gracious lady to help me until I printed my payment confirmation.

“Thank you, God.”

2. I Sang to the Lord.

This may sound strange, but the Bible mentions many who sang in crisis.

The psalmist said,

I will sing the Lord’s praise, for he has been good to me (Psalm 13:6).

Tears glistened on my blouse collar, but I sang.

My hair looked like a shaggy dog in need of a master hair stylist like Susan. Once up north, time wouldn’t permit a haircut.

On Friday morning I called Susan to confirm an appointment, a new person answered the phone.

“This is Yvonne Ortega,” I said. “I’m calling about my appointment at 1:00 pm with Susan."

She paused and said, “Susan dropped dead in the salon two weeks ago. Everyone thought she fainted. When Susan didn’t regain consciousness, they called the Emergency Rescue Squad. They tried everything, but she died instantly of an aneurysm.”

“Lord, God, how much more?”

I fell to my knees and sobbed.

God comforted me and seemed to whisper, “Continue to sing, Yvonne.”

In a state of shock, I walked through the house on Friday, pulled out boots, gloves, and clothes for a trip to a colder climate. With a background of praise and worship music in Spanish, I sang through tears.

No one at the salon was available for three weeks. So, I found another hair stylist and obtained her only appointment all week.

A look in the mirror after a beautiful haircut reminded me of Psalm 89:1.

I will sing of the Lord’s great love forever; with my mouth I will make your faithfulness known through all generations (Psalm 89:1). 

3. I Reached Out with Hope.

I needed to confirm that my uncle knew the Lord and would go to heaven.

Part of my aunt’s conversation came to mind.

"Arthur didn’t talk anymore, wore a stronger pain patch, took morphine, and slept most of the time.”

A friend reminded me that the last sense to go is hearing. I called, told my aunt to hold the phone close to his ear, and I spoke to him.

“Uncle Arthur, this is your niece, Yvonne. If you can hear me and agree with what I say, blink your eyes. If you agree with my prayer at the end, blink your eyes.”

When I finished my prayer, Aunt Bertha said, “I couldn’t hear what you said to Arthur, but he sure blinked his eyes a lot.”

I hadn’t heard sweeter words of confirmation in a long time.

A burning desire to be with my family lingered. However, a storm in Virginia flooded the area around both airports. Early morning fog didn’t help.

I couldn’t get there.

Stranded at home, I had a generator, electricity, running water, and food—but not my loved ones. I called my aunt to check on the family.

“Our son Art noticed that Arthur sat slumped in the lift chair, which constricted his lungs," my aunt said. "Art bought a large pillow at Walmart to see if that would help Arthur breathe better.

"Now he can breathe on his own, talk, and eat. He can walk in the senior community without his walker. It’s a miracle.”

Because of his serious health complications, my uncle can’t leave the facility. However, God has brought him through one more crisis.   

David was dancing before the Lord with all his might, while he and all Israel were bringing up the ark of the Lord with shouts and the sound of trumpets (2 Samuel 6:14–15).

My shouts and dancing before the Lord may have exceeded David’s.

What will you be grateful for this Thanksgiving?  

Yvonne Ortega walks with a small footprint but leaves a giant imprint in people’s lives. She is the author of the Moving from Broken to Beautiful® Series through cancer, forgiveness, and grief. Yvonne speaks with honesty and humor as she helps women who face challenges even when they feel overpowered. She celebrates life at the beach where she walks, builds sand castles, blows bubbles, and dances. Learn more about Yvone on her webpage.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Fernando Zhiminaicela at Pixabay

Pam Farrel is a spiritual motivator and cheerleader. She roots her wise counsel in the Word of God. In this Gratitude UPGRADE, she encourages readers to praise and not pout, and she shows us how from a powerful story in her life.

"As COVID lingers on, and the world seems to be experiencing one crisis or conflict after another," Pam says.

"I sometimes pause to reflect on the life lessons God pre-planned into all our lives in earlier days that can help us navigate."

I (Dawn) agree with Pam that God prepares us for tough circumstances throughout our lives. It's wise to choose to learn from those lessons.

Pam continues . . .

In Discovering Joy in Philippians: A Creative Bible Study Experience, I share what to do when discouragement looms like a storm cloud over your life or you just don’t know what to do to get unstuck:

“Go back to the people, the places, and the portions of scripture where you know you have heard the will and ways of God.”

For example, to clear my head, and reconnect my heart to God, I will often head to nature:

• a prayer walk along the ocean’s edge,
• a paddle on the bay,
• or a bike ride to get away from tech and in touch with the Creator.

By rewinding your brain to former days, some memories stick as road signs pointing to a proven path forward.

For example, as youth ministers, we led a bike trip from Northern California, along the ocean to Santa Barbara. The scenery was breath-takingly beautiful, but rigorous—a series of rolling mountains that escalated higher and steeper in elevation.

We leaders knew this might be quite physically challenging to most of the students, so we designed the trips’ shirts to have the week’s motivational motto on the back of tees, so the cyclists could see it boldly in front of them:  

Nothing’s too tough to make me complain!

That phrase capsulized Paul’s command:

Do all things without grumbling or disputing that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world (Philippians 2: 14-15).

GRUMBLING is to mutter, murmur, or hold on to a smoldering discontent.

DISPUTING is back and forth speculations that keep you stuck in your own reasoning when what you really need is God’s more heavenly perspective.

Peddle to Progress

On this arduous bike trip, I was hot, weary, and faint—but NOT complaining aloud! My repeated question to my co-leader spouse was, “How close are we to the finish?”

With optimism, Bill, would reply, “Closer than it was. Perhaps just around the next bend.” 

Then we would sing worship songs as we peddled up the endlessly steep grade. Finally, at the mountain peak, we paused for a majestic moment, with a bird’s eye view of the ocean stretching out, wrapping us in 180-degree beauty. #sweetvictory!

But my lasting inspiration of this trip from grumbling to gratitude was forged by the students.

Before one of the narrower bridges, we loaded the bikers on the bus and their bikes in a trailer a truck was pulling. The trailer came unhooked from the truck and banged into the guard rail sending three bikes and a couple of suitcases over the rail, down into the Pacific Ocean—never to be seen again!

The amazing attitude of these three teens was stellar! They DID NOT COMPLAIN!

Most adults would have caved and whined, but not these three brave hearts! One of the reasons they were able to keep hold of their positive attitude in face of this unexpected loss was all the rest of the youth group swiftly rallied to meet their needs.

None MURMERED—rather, they MOVED into action.

There were just over 50 teens on this “Nothing’s Too Tough to Make ME Complain” tour—and the vast majority are still walking with Jesus faithfully now forty years later—and more than 75% of that group today hold leadership positions in churches, community groups, mission’s organizations, as pastors, counselors, government officials, and non-profit leaders.

We were all transformed by this stalwart commitment to PRAISE instead of POUT.

FORWARD FOCUS

Years later, we began our family and vowed to raise children who could maintain a sense of strength and courage—no matter what life might send their way.

We hung a six-foot wooden sign, carved into it: “Thou shalt not whine.” 

• If the boys were tempted to moan over chores, mere inconveniences, or minor setbacks, we just pointed to the sign.
• When real pressures and traumas entered their lives, we would gather as a family to pray scripture over that son, often under that same sign.
• We would acknowledge feelings, process them with an attitude of faith, and then stand strong on the promises of the Word.

The boys took this “Can do” attitude into their futures. Now, as leaders of their families and communities, these young leaders help others cultivate an attitude of gratitude.

Your Uphill Journey

When you are tempted to grumble, or have lost your hope, joy, or peace, or need clarity, cultivate an attitude of gratitude.

Begin your own Powerful Praise journal. Note verses that have carried you in the past, turn them into memes, verses to study deeper, and Bible art to help you navigate your future—looking at what you CAN do, not what you can't.

I daily remind myself—as I reflect on God’s faithfulness in the past—to meditate on His promises.

God will be the power to keep peddling forward.

Are you peddling hard today? Don't give up! Victory is just ahead! But if you're discouraged, what can you do today to turn grumbling to gratitude or pouting into praise in the struggles of your life?

Pam Farrel is the Co-Director of Love-Wise, author of 50+ books and co-author of the Discovering the Bible Creative Bible Study series. For more ideas, here are 15 Things You Can Do Instead of Complain. Then hop over to Love-Wise.com to download your free 30 Day Infectious Joy Bible devotional.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Patrick Hendry at Unsplash.