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Entries in Priorities (6)

Thursday

Dec292016

Back to the Future: Retreat to Plan the New Year

Kathy Carlton Willis is an encourager to the max! She knows how to motivate women to upgrade their lives. In this New Year’s UPGRADE, she suggests we all go on a “retreat.”

Kathy told me, “As a career coach I often hear the excuse, ‘I’m just too busy.’ I’m sorry, but I’m not buying it. Each person is given the same number of hours in the day.”

I (Dawn) do think there is a “too busy” level for all of us, but I’ve discovered better planning, delegating, and eliminating the non-essential and what God says “has to go” suddenly can free up a lot of time I didn’t know I had! So I am shouting a hearty “Amen” to Kathy’s words.

Kathy continues. . .

Sure, we all have different energy levels and abilities, but I’m positive we have exactly the resources we need to fulfill the purposes God has for each of us.

The next time you’re tempted to offer up the excuse, “I’m just too busy,” instead I challenge you to say what is the real reason: “It’s simply not a priority for me.”

We get to choose what is important in our lives.

One way I adjust my priorities is to have a yearly personal retreat, either at home or a remote location.

A familiar Psalm indicates what happens during a personal retreat.

“He lets me lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside the still and quiet waters. He refreshes and restores my soul (life); He leads me in the paths of righteousness for His name’s sake” (Psalm 23: 2-3 AMP).

Here are some pointers for your retreat:

1. Start and end with God.

Put your agenda aside. Focus on His strengths and skills. Fall in love with Him again. Be wowed by His power and wisdom. Worship Him, not for what He has done for you, but for who He is.

If you find your mind trailing off, use the alphabet to stay fixed on Him. Come up with a word that describes God from every letter in the alphabet.

2. Use a variety of worship techniques.

Walk with Him in nature.
Take photos of His creation.
Sing along to praise music.
Dance to the tune.
Draw.
Invent your own sign-language to symbolize the lyrics.
Personalize Scripture.

3. Get filled up.

Surrender your life to God again. 100% God and 0% you.

Once you are filled up and yielded, then you are ready to proceed.

4. Evaluate the year just ending.

What surprised you?
What exceeded your goals?
What derailed or disappointed you?
What is still left undone?
What desires and direction did God plant in you that indicates the New Year will look different?
What was within your control to do that you procrastinated?
What was not within your power that changed your plans?

Give the old year to God. Leave it behind without regrets as you move into the New Year.

Clean slate: either a second chance to get your current goals accomplished or brand new goals for a brand new year.

5. Ask God to show you His plans for your New Year.

Don’t merely ask Him to bless your agenda.

Be willing to follow God’s lead wherever it takes you—out of your comfort zone and into the faith-zone.

People ask my secret to getting so much done, and goal-setting is the root of my productivity. It’s not about success as the world sees it, or achievement. I’m focused on being and doing everything God has designed for my life.

Here’s a sample template for my goal-setting session. It varies depending on the year, so feel free to alter it to fit your needs.

My spiritual growth goals for 2017 include:
My mental/emotional growth goals for 2017 include:
My physical goals for 2017 include:
I will use my ability of ______ by doing:
I will work on a relationship with:
Finances will improve when:
I will read ___ books.
To be healthier, I will:
I have a problem procrastinating. This year I will improve in the area of:

Fill out your goal worksheet, then sign it as an indication you will give 100% to God’s agenda.

Does God have a surprise for you in the New Year? Put on your eyes of faith so you can see it when it arrives.

Kathy Carlton Willis shines for God, reflecting His light as a speaker at writer's conferences and women's retreats, and as an author - contributing to three books and writing hundreds of columns and articles online and in print publications. She wrote Grin with Gracewith AMG Publishers and has several books releasing over the next few years. She and her husband Russ live in Texas with Jazzy, their hilarious Boston Terrier.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of depaulus, Pixabay

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Thursday, December 29, 2016 at 9:06AM

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Wednesday

Oct192016

5 Questions to Decide What Deserves Your Time

Dawn Wilson

In this Time Management UPGRADE, Julie Sanders helps us consider something we all have a lot of, but often misuse—our time.

"On a full plate, not everything is equal," Julie says. "The more options, the more important it is to decide what deserves our time. How can we plan for our priorities?"

The more I (Dawn) talk to women, the more I realize how full those plates are. My own is overflowing and needs some paring down, and I have to tell you – Julie's tips here really help!

Julie continues . . .

Your plate may overflow with feedings and laundry, deadlines and events, or presentations and correspondence. If we start each day hoping important things rise to the top, we risk drowning in a flash flood of urgency and emergency.

Whatever the parts of our busy life, we can’t afford not to plan to make our priorities first. Being in the place where we need to plan is a good place to be.

By learning to count time, measure resources and compare the weight of work, we learn wisdom. The Psalmist said, “So teach us to number our days, that we may get a heart of wisdom” (Psalm 90:12).

Counterfeit priorities will beg for attention with a simple knock at the door or chime of the phone.

Ask 5 questions to plan for the main things to take the main chunk of your time and attention. First things first.

1. What can only I do?

Some tasks require my attention. Only I can be my husband’s wife and mother my children. When God directs me to a hurting person, only I can respond in the moment.

But I am not meant to answer every problem or be the savior for every need. Can someone else meet the need?

2. What can someone else do?

When we delegate a duty to someone else, we wisely use our time. I don’t have to do every load of laundry, return every call, teach every lesson or pray for every need.

Since resources are limited, I’ve learned to let go and let others share the load.

3. What can wait?

Someone else’s poor planning does not constitute an emergency for my schedule.

It may feel good to be the “answer” to a trauma, but being swept away by the urgent requires saying “no” to other things of value. Some things can wait. When weighing a request or responsibility, ask, “Can it wait?”

4. What can be a process?

Deadlines present opportunities to plan ahead. Choose a tool that works for you to schedule times to make progress, and resist letting longer term projects turn into last minute problems.

5. What matters most to God?

When deciding what deserves our time, consider what matters most to God. What does He consider a “priority” and what can take a back seat or fall away?

This means priorities are constantly changing, in light of how God guides our steps, including the people He brings into our lives.

Hold tightly to what God cares about, but hold loosely to the order of business on your planner.

After all, “The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps” (Proverbs 16:9).

We don’t know how many days we have. We do know each will be 24 hours, with 365 in every year. We can’t hope or plan to do it all.

First plan your priorities and your priorities will happen first.

Is the way you spend your time a real reflection of your real priorities? How could you plan to put first things first?

NOTE: Julie created an Alphabet Priorities printable bookmark—a helpful tool for sorting through what matters most. It's available here and here.

Julie Sanders speaks and writes with seasoned wisdom. Since moving to the Northwest with her husband, Julie is numbering her days in a new season of life. As the director of early learning programs across nearly 16,000 square miles of urban and rural country, she has daily opportunities to put first things first and live out God’s priorities. Julie writes from her online home, “Come Have a Peace.”

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Wednesday, October 19, 2016 at 9:00AM

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Thursday

Oct132016

Prioritizing People: How to Upgrade Your Decisions

Dawn Wilson

Author and international speaker Pam Farrel always seeks to breathe life into relationships, and in this Relationship UPGRADE, she focuses on the sometimes tough subject of "who should get my time"?

"Good decisions," Pam says, "will protect and provide for those who might not be able to, or yet know how to, protect themselves"

I (Dawn) know women struggle with prioritizing the people in their lives. However, none of us has unlimited time, energy or focus. As my friend Pam says, "The reality is, we must learn to see people and how we spend our time with and for people from a more heavenly point of view."

Pam continues . . .

Often women feel frozen when trying to decide on just how to prioritize people. However, even Jesus had to make choices on how He would spend His time and with whom.

Here are two of the questions I ask when trying to decide people-time priorities:

1. Who has earned more right to my time?

Some people truly deserve to be prioritized. For example, I will always answer my cell and quickly return a call to my mother, or rearrange my schedule if she is in need of my help. I do this because she gave birth to me, then gave of herself to raise me into the leader I am today. (Believe me, with my strong will, she had her work cut out for her!)

When I said, “I do” to my husband, God asked me to become a quality “helpmeet” to him.

Also all of my sons, their wives, and my grandkids deserve my time, because God gave them to our family as a gift.

My siblings, grandparents, in-laws, those in my extended family may also rotate in my schedule if they have a pressing need or issue that my skills set can help with.

In addition, if I make a commitment to a client (or boss), a disciple or a mentee, I do everything in my power to keep promises made.

Most of us understand this concept in principle—but what happens when several of these people —or others—all seem to need us all at the same time?

At that moment, I ask:

2. Who is "the least of these"?

Jesus used this principle in a parable:

"The King will reply, 'Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me'" (Matthew 25:40 NIV).

In your situation, ask, “Who needs protected or provided for most?”

“The least of these” are the very smallest or least of status. Jesus said how we treat those who we cannot gain from—and may not be able to protect or provide for themselves—is a reflection of how we are treating Jesus.

In a family setting “least of these” might be:

A CHILD

If you are a parent, every decision you make, know that your children are your “least of these”. So ask:

“How will this impact the kids?”
“What choice do I need to make to give the best long range outcome for the kids?”
“Who do I want my child to be as an adult? What choice here will get them there?”

A PARENT

The least of these does not always mean a child focus. For example, we went from directing and caring for our sons, and then a few years later, it was obvious Bill’s aging parents needed to become a high priority. Because their health continued to decline, we put our home up for sale to move nearer to aid them.

A FAMILY MEMBER or FRIEND

God might move one of the relationships listed under the first question above to the front burner of your life if something catastrophic hits: a death, an illness, a financial collapse, etc.

These are more often a temporary shift of time, energy and focus given until the storm has passed.

YOU!

When you fly on a plane, the flight attendant always says, “In case of an emergency, put the oxygen mask on yourself first, then on the person you are traveling with”.

To care for “the least of these” means we also have to care for ourselves, so we can care for others!

Today, who is your “least of these”?

Pam Farrel is the author of 45 books, an international speaker, and relationship expert who seeks to breathe life into people’s most vital relationships through the ministry she runs with her husband, Love-Wise. Today’s blog is adapted from her newest book, 7 Simple Skills for Every Woman: Success At Keeping It All Together.

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Thursday, October 13, 2016 at 12:40PM

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Tuesday

Mar292016

Go for Breadth ... and Depth (Part 1)

Dawn Wilson

In this two-part Spiritual Life and Ministry UPGRADE, I'm (Dawn) encouraging people to remember both breadth and depth.

When it comes to life and ministry, let's not forget the "Big Picture" as we pursue goals. Conversely, we don't want to miss important details either.

Some time ago, I launched into a dietary program with a certified nutritionist to improve my health. The program is fairly restrictive, and it didn't take me long to question whether I could hold the line with my food choices. (I know my usual self pretty well ... I'm a dieting wimp.)

I mentioned this at one meeting with the nutritionist, and she pulled me back into reality and willing accountability with four simple words: "Keep the big picture."

The big picture, she explained, would help me resist temptation and make better, more consistent choices. (I'm finding it also helps me fight the tendency to become a grace-free perfectionist.)

Remembering the big picture doesn't come naturally to me. I'm a detail gal. It's been said that Big Picture People are predominantly "right brained" and Detail People are predominantly "left brained." (It's no surprise I'm about three-fourths left-brained.)

We function best when we balance or strengthen both styles of thinking and learning, and there are techniques we can practice to make the changes we need. (Or we need to rub shoulders with our opposite and discover where we might be off base!)

I was thinking this week about the Big Picture of spiritual life and ministry, and how remembering the wide scope of our lives can alter our lifestyle and choices.

CONCEPT #1: GO for BREADTH!

What's the Big Picture for the Christian?

1. Broader Perspective

The Big Picture involves both time and eternity (Ecclesiates 3:11; Colossians 3:1-2; Hebrews 12:1-2). It remembers, "This isn't all there is." Are we living in light of eternity?
The Big Picture asks, "Can I do this and still stay in line with my goals?" but also, "What kind of legacy do I want to leave behind?" (Matthew 6:20-21; Deuteronomy 6:5-7; Psalm 145:4)
The Big Picture seeks the Mind of Christ (1 Corinthians 2:16), and discovers lies and mental limits that hinder us from becoming and doing what we were created to be and do.

2. Biblical Priorities

The Big Picture includes God-centered priorities that almost always will differ from the culture.
Living with eternity in mind will likely alter our priorities. We won't drift through life; we'll discipline our lives as we "seek first the kingdom of God" (Luke 12:29-31; Matthew 6:33).
When we keep the big picture, we'll be more likely to chose priorities that matter to the Lord and please Him (2 Corinthians 5:9; Colossians 1:10; Romans 12:2) instead of constantly seeking earth's treasures (Luke 12:34).
In practice, we'll seek God in the Word and make time for people who need to know the Lord. We'll spend time building our families. And we'll often make hard choices that go against the grain of culture.

Then, once we see the Big Picture, we're ready to tackle the details.

That's covered in Part 2 of "Go for Breadth ... and Depth."

How does having a broader perspective of life help you make better choices? Do your priorities change when you think about eternity?

Dawn Wilson, founder and President of Heart Choices Today, is the creator of three blogs: Heart Choices Today, LOL with God (with Pam Farrel), and Upgrade with Dawn. She is on the board of Network of Evangelical Women in Ministry (NEWIM) and is a contracted researcher for Revive Our Hearts. She and her husband Bob have two grown, married sons, three granddaughters and a rascally maltipoo, Roscoe.

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Tuesday, March 29, 2016 at 8:35AM

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Thursday

Oct082015

The Lonely Leather-Bound Book

Dawn Wilson

Dawn Wilson wrote the original version of this back in 1983, but I find it is just as relevant—maybe more so—today. In this adapted Spiritual Life UPGRADE, which is a bit of a departure from our normal posts, let's think about our relationship to the "lonely leather-bound book."

“Oh, boy … it’s only 11 weeks until Christmas! I love Christmas. I seem so much more important then.”

The leather-bound book sighed. He remembered happier days when his owner spent hours reading and focusing on God’s timeless words.

“I don’t get used nearly enough these days. Years ago, when my owner asked Jesus to be her Lord and Savior, I was used every day—picked up from my special spot, opened with tender, loving hands, and read at least an hour. She just couldn’t get enough of me! (Psalm 1:2; 1 Peter 2:2)

But that was then.

I’ve been resting here undisturbed for a couple of months now, but Christmas is coming and I hope my owner will at least read the Christmas story. She used to pull me out all the time when her sons were small. She told her husband it was important to teach the boys about Jesus. And she seemed to have a hunger for the truth in my pages. (Matthew 4:4; Psalm 119:103; Job 23:12)

But last Christmas she didn’t open me at all. She was too preoccupied with parties and shopping.

And then, after Christmas, she made a lot of New Year’s resolutions about reading me regularly and maybe even taking me to a Bible study, but I guess her resolutions were empty promises. Again.

Oh, I know she’s been terribly busy. There’s the scrapbooking class and trips to the mall, and she’s especially fond of that spa.

She reads several books each month that talk about me. It’s not the same, though. I’m the real deal.

I do get dusted off occasionally, along with the coffee table and candy dish. She feels she needs to make a good impression for company. Anyone who knows my owner knows she’s very concerned about appearances, and I’m such a ‘spiritual’ decoration.

Please understand. It’s not that I don’t get picked up. I get carried to church every Sunday—though heaven only knows why. My owner doesn’t bother to look up the verses when the Pastor preaches. I’m just good ‘for looks,’ I guess.

And I suppose in a few years I’ll be replaced by a newer, snazzier model. I hope it will get used more than I have, but I doubt it.

She’s already got six translations, a big print version, and two devotional Bibles on her bookshelves.

Last month was a thrilling time for me, though. My owner had a lousy time with her kids, and she got so upset she sent them to bed early. Frustrated, she plopped down on the couch for a good cry. I was there on the coffee table—ready, as usual. She stared at me for a long time through her tears, then reached out and picked me up.

I was so excited!

She thumbed impatiently through my pages, wishing I’d fall open to a good answer or a quick promise … something, anything that would speak to her heart.

How I wish she’d get familiar with me before these moments of crisis arrive.

She did seem somewhat encouraged as she lingered in the psalms, though, and I was glad to help. One of her boys got out of bed to visit the bathroom, and he seemed surprised to see my owner reading me. No, shocked would be a better word.

Most of the time, I remain here forgotten, or at least, neglected. Once in a while she gives me a guilty glance. Oh, how I laughed at her expression when the Women’s Ministries director stopped by last week. She glanced over her shoulder at me, shocked to hear me screaming. (Actually, it was her conscience doing all the screaming.)

She’s been in denial about me for so long she can’t recognize her desperate need.

She forgets I bear witness to the One who gives life—not just eternal life, but the daily life her heart craves. I could show her God's wonders and help her understand His ways. I could teach and equip her to serve the Lord. Most of all, my words could make her more like Jesus! (John 5:39-40; Psalm 119:18, 130; 2 Timothy 3:16-17; John 17:17)

Sometimes I feel like extra baggage, especially on vacations. I can’t believe how much I traveled last summer. I was in seven states, but she didn't use me once.

Once she even took me on a cruise. I didn’t see much, though, except the inside of my owner’s suitcase. Her priorities were clear. She pulled everything else out several times, but I can’t see why I even went along. I just took up space.

The house is pretty chilly today, but I feel hot and stuffy. It’s hard to breathe when I’m covered up with magazines and all those catalogs. I can just barely peek out.

Sometimes I get lonesome and wish for the ‘good old days’ when my owner loved me more than anything, even food. (Jeremiah 15:16)

I was alive and powerful in her life—a real eye-opener, motivator, wise counselor and friend. I brought her peace and joy. I showed her how to make God smile.

Oh… she’s coming!

Hey, I’m over here—over here!”

Do you have a "lonely Bible" too? Could you schedule some regular visits?

Dawn Wilson, founder and President of Heart Choices Today, is the creator of three blogs: Heart Choices Today, LOL with God (with Pam Farrel), and Upgrade with Dawn. She is the Director of the San Diego chapter of Network of Evangelical Women in MInistry (NEWIM San Diego). Dawn and her husband Bob have two grown, married sons, three granddaughters and a rascally maltipoo, Roscoe.

This post was adapted from an article I wrote for Spirit of Revival magazine, a publication of Life Action Ministries, in 1983. Used with permission.

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Thursday, October 8, 2015 at 11:45AM

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