The Gifts of the Magi

Joanie Shawhan has turned suffering into an occasion for joyful worship. In this Christmas UPGRADE, she reminds us of the gifts of the Magi in a unique way—by sharing her own gifts to Jesus.

"My cry echoed the cries of many throughout the centuries," Joanie says, "culminating in the haunting strains of 'O Come, O Come, Emmanuel.'"

That is one of my (Dawn's) favorite Christmas songs. It has always brought me such peace; and apparently it brings Joanie peace too.

You can listen to two beautiful renditions of the Christmas hymn here and here. (The second one is in English and Hebrew, performed in Jerusalem.)

Joanie continues . . .

In 2006, my treadmill of holiday festivities sputtered to a halt. Instead of my Christmas letter brimming with the clever antics of beloved children and pets, I announced:

“I have ovarian cancer.”

Chemotherapy had sapped my stamina, my strength, and my joy. I didn’t have the energy to drag out the boxes of Christmas baubles and decorate.

I wanted to do more, but I settled on a simple hand-painted nativity set gracing my fireplace mantel.

Multi-colored lights surrounded the figurines in a valiant attempt to cheer me. I watched the shadows play across the wall as I faced another round of chemotherapy.

Where ARE You, God?

As I sought God in the unfamiliarity of a Christmas on chemotherapy, He reminded me of the Magi.

They left their familiar homeland filled with joy and embarked on a journey seeking to worship the newborn king bearing gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh.

As I reflected on the Magi, I wondered, "What gifts could I offer this Christmas—gifts fit for a King?"

My Three Gifts

1. Gold

I offer that which is more precious than gold, my FAITH. A faith that continues to believe in the goodness of God. A faith that acknowledges Jesus as the King of Kings who reigns over the whole world, including my circumstances.

Even cancer.

This season, I honor the King by walking in faith and trusting Him with my future, relying on Jesus to bring me through the cancer and chemotherapy. God is faithful.

These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold—though your faith is far more precious than mere gold (1 Peter 1:7a NLT).

2. Frankincense

Frankincense is an expensive and fragrant incense offered in the worship of a deity.

My fragrant offering pleasing to God is praise and WORSHIP.

Even in the midst of pain, confusion, and chemotherapy, He is worthy.

You are worthy, O Lord, To receive glory and honor and power; For You created all things, And by Your will they exist and were created (Revelation 4:11 NKJV).

3. Myrrh

The bitter perfume of suffering foreshadowed the death of Jesus on the cross. By his death and resurrection, He rescued us from our sinful way of life and gave us access to the living God.  

For me, myrrh represents my altar of SURRENDER to the Lordship of Jesus. I surrender my circumstances, hopes, and dreams to the One who loves me, created me, and died for me.

Looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God (Hebrews 11:1 NKJV).

This Christmas, I will follow in the footsteps of the Magi and offer my gifts of faith, worship, and surrender to Jesus.

I will look past my sufferings and focus on the majesty of my Savior. He is the source of my joy—a joy not dependent upon my circumstances, but a joy that comes from His presence.

Like the Magi, I will rejoice with great joy.

"Joy to the World, the Lord Is Come!"

When they saw the star, they rejoiced with exceedingly great joy… they presented gifts to Him: gold, frankincense, and myrrh (Matthew 2:10-11 NKJV).

God heard my cry:

Where are You, God?

Through the gifts of the Magi, He revealed himself as Emmanuel—"God with us."

And He is still with me.

Is Jesus your "Emmanuel?" What gifts will you offer Jesus this Christmas?

Joanie Shawhan is a Selah Awards Finalist for In Her Shoes: Dancing in the Shadow of Cancer. She is an ovarian cancer survivor, registered nurse, speaker, and featured radio and television guest. Contact Joanie at www.joanieshawhan.com.

Graphic adapted from a vector courtesy of Pixabay.

Christmas? No Sweat!

In this Christmas UPGRADE, Dawn Wilson encourages practical and biblical responses to the holiday season that can reduce stress, even in a pandemic!

Last year, my Christmas looked so different. Circumstances made my family adapt and change so many aspects of the holiday season.

Preparing for a stem cell transplant, and caring for my husband who developed a serious physical issue that required hospitalization, I did all I could to reduce stress and still enjoy the holiday.

• Some family traditions were either set aside or left to others to fulfill.
• I put up the Christmas tree in September, because originally, my transplant was to be in October  (and then it was changed to December, and ultimately January)!
• I didn't have much energy, so I only put up one fourth of my holiday decor... and found I didn't miss the other things.
• I only made half of the holiday foods and treats I usually would make.
• We didn't put up out complicated outdoor Nativity display—disappointing our neighbors, but necessary.

During that December, I thought a lot about what makes Christmas — "Christmas."

This year, I prayed and decided to allow God to show me what is important, and what are simply "stress-builders." 

As a recovering perfectionist, I thought I had given all my expectations to the Lord, but I soon discovered my desires for the "perfect Christmas" still demanded my attention. And those unreasonable desires created stress.

That had to change.

God may bring certain stresses into our lives with purpose—usually to teach us something or mature us in our faith. But most of our stresses are of our own doing.

God wants to help us reduce or eliminate unnecessary stresses at Christmas. The Christmas season affords us many choices.

Here's how the Lord spoke to my heart.

Intentional CHOICES Can Eliminate Holiday Stress

1. Settle Who’s in Charge.

I've noticed how many of us would absolutely say, "Jesus is Lord," but we might not allow Him to take control of our Christmas celebration. We know what we want to do—why consult Him?

How ironic that we celebrate the One who came to lead us into peace, joy and love; and yet when we "take charge" we often leave Him out. And we can end up with stress and all sorts of other emotional issues.

Jesus said, "apart from Me, you can do nothing" (John 15:5), but we think we're more than capable of handling the holidays without even a simple prayer for His guidance and help.

The Lord wants to help us with our Christmas plans and relieve our stress, but we have to place our confidence in Him to know what is best for us and our families. We need to ask, listen, and obey.

Surrender your Christmas to the Lord; give Him your burdens and find rest (Matthew 11:28).

When we acknowledge God's sovereign control by faith, we may eliminate many of the holiday worries that cause us stress.

CHOOSE TRUST.

2. Stop Pursuing Perfectionism.

As I mentioned, perfectionism used to keep my head spinning. In pursuit of the "perfect" tree, dinner, gifts, etc., I pretty much ruined how I experienced so many Christmases.

No one and nothing is perfect on this earth. Only God is perfect.

We have expectations for ourselves and for others, and when those hopes or expectations aren't met, we can get heartsick with disappointment (Proverbs 13:12). (Worse, we can get angry when we don't get our way.)

I used to say, "Dawn, choose your battles at Christmas!"

Now I say, "Dawn, watch your expectations."

As we stop pursuing perfectionism, we can give everything our best effort and then relax. My new goal is to do my very best and leave the results to God.

There's nothing wrong with hard work and diligence toward a goal. That's not the same as perfectionism that drives and pressures us.

CHOOSE DILIGENCE.

3. Savor Simplicity.

Sometimes we get so elaborate, people and godly purposes get lost in the process.

Simplifying our lives is one of the best ways to remove stress.

Christmas isn't about complicated decorations and meals. It's about appreciating God's provisions and making memorable moments with the people we love.

Christmas memories are made in quiet chats with grandparents, fun baking sessions, walks in snow (or in San Diego, on the beach), drive in neighborhoods to see Christmas lights and other enjoyable moments. None of that needs to be complicated.

One of the unexpected sources of stress is the problem of "too much." I noticed something this year. I had so much Christmas decor put up, I lost sight of most of it.

It was a sparkly blur!

A wise fashion consultant once told me, "When you dress up to go out, before you go out the door, take off one piece of jewelry or accessory." She knew how easy it is to overdo, especially when we celebrate.

The concept of "less is more" works in fashion, home and Christmas decoration, and so many other areas of life.

God wants us to be content with what we have (1 Timothy 6:8) and be appreciative of the powerful simplicity in the birth of Christ (Luke 2:11).

So realistically, we don't need much to enjoy Christmas. But also—partly because of Covid-19 restrictions—we don't need a full calendar. Yes, there will be activities, especially if we have grandchildren. But sometimes drinking a cup of cocoa in front of the fireplace or munching on a Christmas cookie while watching a timeless holiday movie is all we need.

CHOOSE CONTENTMENT.

4. Set Wise Boundaries.

Setting wise boundaries helps reduce stress. I want to focus on just three areas for boundaries.

(1) Watch your budget. 

We don't need to go beyond our means. When we overspend, we not only lose sight of wise choices now, we have to deal with the stress of bills after Chrismas! Set boundaries on your checkbook and credit cards!

Ask God for wisdom (James 1:5) in the use of resources—practice good stewardship.

We seldom need "more." We often need a greater appreciation for what we already have.

Instead of buying more decor this year, I reduced what I have. A local charity got three boxes full of decorations others might appreciate, and I plan to go through my possessions this week to find coats, sweaters, blankets, mittens and other items the homeless might need as the weather turns chilly.

(2) Cut the Clutter.

Look around your room after decorating for the holiday. Does it feel "fussy"—more like a Christmas shop of displays than a home? (I'm so guilty of the over-do at Christmas!)

I know this is an individual thing, and you may want to keep heirlooms and antiques; but if your decor feels like clutter or even hoarding, rethink what you're keeping. You may need to set some boundaries for new purchases—after you cut the clutter now!

Christmas, like life, does not consist of an abundance of things (see Luke 12:15).

Notice the things that may still be in Christmas storage boxes or tubs. Why are they here? If they're not being used, do you really need them?

If you feel your decor is beyond healthy boundaries, here are a few ideas to pare down.

• Take pictures of groupings of items and email or text those photos to family members to see if they want some of your items. (You're just checking, not pressuring.)
• Can some things (good quality) be re-gifted?
• Consider giving to a charity where people can purchase decor at low cost, or use your "treasures" as gifts.
• Note: Sometimes taking a photo for a photo book to preserve and trigger memories can be just as satisfying as keeping the actual thing.

Simplifying by reducing or eliminating things—even well past Christmas—is a good way to get rid of a subtle kind of stress.

(3) Examine your relationships.

In some families, unhealthy relationships are strained throughout the year, and at Christmas, that stress can go over the top!

Set healthy boundaries, even with those you love.

• There's nothing wrong with valuing your time and doing what is best for you and your family. Don't be afraid to be clear about your time, needs or familiy's needs.
• Be kind and gentle (Ephesians 4:32; 1 Corinthians 13:4-7); but don't be afraid to say "no," when necessary.
• Antipate how relationship issues might trigger problems when you get together, and come up with good strategies to make these sticky interactions less stressful.
• Read scriptures about the tongue before Christmas—like "a gentle answer turns away wrath"(Proverbs 15:1)—because good communication goes a long way.)

We can make many wise choices when it comes to spending, our possessions, and relationships. God's Word has practical instruction.

CHOOSE DISCERNMENT.

5. Seek Moderation.

We tend to excuse bad habits during the holidays, thinking over-indulgence will lead to more joy. But overstuffed tummies and late-night binge-watching set us up for physical stress that don't help us.

Wise choices help us avoid upset stomachs and bleary eyes.

What we need is self-restraint, self-control. We can still rejoice and celebrate while practicing moderation (Philippians 4:4-5; 1 Corinthians 6:19-20).

• Yes, we can enjoy a reasonable meal and beverage—small portions; waiting between bites; focusing on people more than the food.
• Yes, we can have dessert—leaving room for it as we enjoy our meal.
• Yes, we can plan opportunities for special Christmas programs—but beware of mindless eating on the couch!

If we seek ways to practice moderation in our celebration, we'll likely be glad we did.

CHOOSE SELF-CONTROL.

6. See Christmas through Others’ Eyes.

It's easy to turn inward and only see our own circumstances. It helps to pause and think about others who have needs too. How can we relieve their stresses?

First, if you have children, intentionally take time to discuss the holiday with them.

• Many children are struggling during the coronavirus. Are they feeling additional stress this Christmas? Can you relieve some of their stress?
• What makes Christmas special for them? More than how many gifts they get (or how big), what activities with you will make these weeks memorable?
• How can you better help them embrace the true meaning of Christmas? How can you help them understand that because Jesus came, we have hope and help.

When it comes to gifts, be careful not to stoke unreasonable or unhealthy expectations. Focus on loving your children, not showering them with "more." Love may include giving, but love does not equal things.

Also, ask God to help you see other people through HIS eyes. Then, as you move through the season, determine to see Christmas through the eyes of those around you:

• a weary or struggling spouse,
• family members who have experienced loss,
• a needy family in your church,
• a homeless person or family,
• a widow or widower,
• an orphan,
• an elderly shut-in or someone who is sick,
• someone deployed in the military, or
• a single person who might be lonely.

Because of Covid-19, many are hurting. Some feel desperate. Many have lost family members or jobs.

Be kind and compassionate, ready to counsel and comfort others during the holiday (2 Corinthians 1:3-4; Colossians 3:12).

CHOOSE LOVE.

We don't have to "sweat" the holidays because of stress. We can relax and choose biblical responses like trust, diligence, contentment, discernment, self-control and love that will bring us a greater measure of joy and peace.

What is causing you stress so far this holiday season? Which biblical response could help you today?

Dawn Wilson, founder and President of Heart Choices Today, is a speaker and author, and the creator the blog, Upgrade with Dawn. She is a contracted researcher/reviewer for women's teacher and revivalist, Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth, at Revive Our Hearts, a blogger at TrueWoman.com, writes wiki-type posts at  Christianity.com, and is a regular columnist at Crosswalk.com. She and her husband Bob live in sunny Southern California, and Dawn has traveled with Him in Pacesetter Global Outreach. They have two grown, married sons, three granddaughters and a rascally maltipoo, Roscoe.

3 Steps to Upgrade Your Time during the Holidays

Morgan Farr, an Army wife, has four children and a new puppy. You can imagine how she needs to wisely plan her days. But Morgan is one of the most organized gals I know. In this Christmas Time Management UPGRADE, she shares three steps that help her use her time wisely during the holiday season."When someone says—'Are you ready for the holidays?'—people often sigh and joke about all the things Santa has to get done with the help of his elves," Morgan says. "It seems the holidays produce a lot of anxiety and pressure for many people."

I (Dawn) remember what it was like to have two young boys as I rushed around preparing for Christmas. I could have used some of Morgan's expertise back then!

Morgan continues . . . 

As I have gotten older and become a mother, I realize the “magic of Christmas” is actually a lot of hard work by family members to help make the holiday season bright. 

But in the age of Covid, political unrest, racial tensions, and the rest of the challenges that 2020 has brought, how do you make the holiday season bright? 

And more importantly, how do you do it without having to add extra hours into your day?  

Step One: Get organized

The key to any good plan is structure and organization. 

Now before you panic, I am not saying you need an organized home in order to organize your time. What I am saying is that you need to start with a clear idea of what you need to do.

1. Weekly Planning Meeting

My husband and I have a weekly planning meeting every Sunday night. It doesn’t matter what is going on or if he is TDY with the military, we still connect for a minimum of 15 minutes every Sunday night to sync calendars, manage any scheduling conflicts, and discuss upcoming major events. 

This is also a good time to check on your family budget and make sure your finances are in order. If both parties come to the meeting prepared this should take no more than 30 minutes, but can help prevent major issues later in the week. 

2. Nightly List Write Up

Each night before I head upstairs for bed, I grab my 99 cent spiral notebook and make a to-do list for the next day. I use the same notebook each day so I can roll over any unfinished activities from the day prior if need be. 

This practice takes about 10 minutes total, but it saves me a lot of time the next morning, because I can just glance at the list to see what my next steps should be. It also helps to prevent me from freezing up and being unable to decide what to do next.

3. Daily Involvement 

Get the whole family involved in daily management tasks! Every single day, everyone in my family is involved in the daily aspects of helping to keep the house running. 

• My children help with sweeping, wiping counters, clearing the table, and taking out the trash every single day.
• When it is time to bring in groceries? You bet my kids help bring them inside and help put them away.
• Laundry? Everyone is responsible for putting away their own clothing. 

In the early years, this can seem counter productive, but if you want your children to do it when they are twelve, start with small tasks when they are two. This teaches responsibility while also helping to keep the house orderly.

Step Two: Out with the Bad, in with the Good 

We, as a society, fill our hearts and minds with the most ridiculous things.

We also waste a lot of time on things that have zero eternal significance while bemoaning the lack of time we have.

So to combat this I have a few simple recommendations. 

1. Cut the Cord 

Did you know that the average person spends five hours watching TV every single day? That translates to 35 hours a week—which is almost a full-time job! 

At the end of the holidays no one is going to be sitting there saying, “Man, I wish I had spent more family time watching Netflix.”

If you cut out even one hour per day of TV watching, that will give you back 7 hours in a week. That is almost a full workday! 

2. Use Caution 

I know that during the holidays it can be really tempting to sit on social media and scroll through everyone’s gorgeous family pictures. I love seeing how creative friends and family are with their holiday celebrations. 

However, in 2019, the average person spent an average of 2 hours and 22 minutes on social media every single day! That is 15 hours a week on social media, often when our children should be doing other things like school and work. 

Scale back on your social media time. 

If you need help, most smartphones, tablets, and computers offer a way to set time limits on apps. Set a time limit for yourself or have someone hold you accountable. 

Ultimately, no one will remember if your place setting was perfect for Instagram, or if the gifts were wrapped Pinterest perfect.

What people will remember is spending time—safely during Covid—with the people they love.

Make sure you are giving the gift of your presence this holiday season, not just presents. 

Step Three: Remember the Reason

Finally, remember the reason the holiday even exists.

There are some excellent advent devotionals available for both children and adults. (*)

I have also found that listening to the book of Luke on an audio Bible is really good for my heart. There are 24 chapters in Luke and reading or listening to one per day for the month of December leads me through Jesus' life while I am celebrating His birth.  

[Note: There are many audio Bibles on YouTube. Here are three of the Book of Luke: (NKJV), (KJV), and (NIV).]

"Jesus is the Reason for the Season."

That is the saying you can find all over decorations and signs during the holiday. As Christians, we need to remember the entire point of Christmas is to celebrates the coming of Jesus Christ and His eventual redemption of our sins. 

What we focus on during this season says a lot about our faith and what we believe about the importance of Christ’s birth.

Let’s make sure we are honoring God with our advent celebrations. 

Which step can you take to help upgrade your time this holiday season?

(*) If you need recommendations for advent devotionals, feel free to send me an email at my blog link, below. ~ Morgan

Morgan Farr is a Texas-loving, succulent-cultivating, book nerd. Stationed in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, this Army wife is learning to train dogs, developing her four young children, and tackling homeschool life… while moving all over the country. Morgan writes about her transition away from feminism and much more at The Forgiven Former Feminist.

I Love Christmas!

Kathi Macias gets us in the Christmas spirit today with this special UPLIFT story—encouragement that God still works miracles today!

"Before I launch into an elaborate explanation and lengthy list of why I absolutely adore Christmas," Kathi says, "let me preface it by saying—before someone else calls me on it—that I am fully aware of the fact that Jesus was most likely not born on December 25."

I (Dawn) think the important truth is that Jesus was born! The Bible and historical records testify to that fact.

Kathi continues . . .

Many of the trappings of our modern-day Christmas celebrations are rooted in pagan worship, just plain materialism and even greed.

But I still love Christmas. And something tells me I’m not alone.

Though I wasn’t raised in a Christian home, I was blessed to grow up in a time when most Americans—Christian or not—somehow included the celebration of the birth of Christ during that special season.

Many people who never set in foot in church the rest of the year found themselves drawn to the reverent hush of a candlelight service or a midnight mass. And nearly all Christmas trees and house/yard decorations included an acknowledgment to that aspect of the holiday.

We even put on Christmas plays at school, complete with the reading of the Christmas story from Luke 2.

When I was chosen in third grade to play the part of Mary, I was not only excited but somewhat awestruck. Each day during practice, I heard the “angel” reading the verses from Luke that told of the events of that magnificent night—whatever night on the calendar it may have been.

In fact, that was the first passage of scripture I memorized as a child, simply by hearing it over and over again.

Of course, we also celebrated the secular side of Christmas in our home.

When my brothers and I were very young, our German grandparents lived in the little one-bedroom house just behind ours. Because my dad worked rotating shifts, my parents and grandparents came up with a story to work around his schedule.

It seemed that Santa was quite accommodating and knew ahead of time what hours my dad would be working and when he would be home.

As a result, he would come to bring our gifts whenever it worked out for Dad to be there when we opened them.

If it was during the day of Christmas Eve (rather than during the night as it was for most families) we would go back to our grandparents’ home that day and wait—quietly and anxiously—until my mom came to tell us Santa had indeed arrived and made his delivery. Then, grandparents in tow, we would all hurry back to our place and gather around the tree.

Now my dad and his parents were German, born and raised there, so needless to say they were disciplined and expected us to be the same.

No mass tearing into packages, ripping off paper, squealing with delight, and then moving on to the next gift.

Nope, we did it all “decently and in order.”

Dad would choose one gift and hand it to the person whose name was on the tag. Then we would all wait and watch as that person opened the gift (saving the paper, of course) and showed it to everyone.

Not until we had all oohed and aahed sufficiently could we move on to the next one.

When it was all over, regardless of what time of day (or night) it might be, Dad and Omi (our German grandmother) would sing “O Tanenbaum” (“Oh, Christmas Tree”) and “Stille Nacht” (“Silent Night”).

I still can’t hear those songs without tearing up over the bittersweet memories.

I love Christmas too because of what it does to hearts everywhere.

We’ve all seen those Word War II movies where the American soldiers and the Nazis are firing at each other, and then someone begins to sing “Silent Night” and the shooting stops. For just a few hallowed moments, hostilities cease as the Prince of Peace is acknowledged and honored.

Sadly the truce is short-lived, but at least it happens long enough to acknowledge the true meaning of Christmas.

I must say, though, that one of the things I love most about Christmas is Christmas stories, whether books, TV shows, or movies. And there are so many good ones!

It scarcely seems like Christmas if we don’t gather in front of the fireplace and watch “A Christmas Story” (who doesn’t love Ralphie?) or “Miracle on 34^th Street,” does it?

In the past few years I’ve also seen a wonderful increase in publishers putting out Christmas stories—short stories, novellas, full-length novels—in almost any and all genres. We have so many to choose from, and I have yet to find one I didn’t like, have you?

A Heartwarming Christmas Miracle

I had an especially heartwarming experience when the publishing of my annual Christmas novel, Unexpected Christmas Hero*, resulted in what I consider a true Christmas miracle.

The story is about a little homeless family that is befriended by a homeless Vietnam vet, who happens to be quite ill. The publisher wanted to put a face on the book cover that would depict this vet, so they sent their photographer out to find someone who resembled him and would allow himself to be photographed for the cover.

He found someone who looked as if he’d been dropped out of heaven for just such a purpose—a dead-ringer for the Vietnam vet in the story.

When the photographer told the man what he was doing and asked if he would be willing to pose for the cover photo, he got tears in his eyes and said he actually was homeless and hadn’t seen his family in years. He hoped that by being on the cover he might somehow be reunited with his family.

When the photographer alerted me to this, I began an Internet campaign to find the man’s family. It took less than two weeks.

Then we launched a fundraiser and, thanks to generous readers, raised $3000 to enable this man to get together with his grown daughter and her children—the first time he’d met his grandchildren.

Definitely a Christmas miracle, wouldn’t you say?

And I strongly suspect it’s only one of many.

Regardless of what day Christ was actually born, we do know that the Prince of Peace did indeed come to earth in human form to make a once-for-all sacrifice so that we could all experience THE GREATEST MIRACLE EVER n our own lives—restoration to relationship with the Father.

And that, dear friends, is why I love Christmas so very much.

May yours be the most blessed ever!

Kathi Macias is an award-winning author of more than 50 books, including The Doctor’s Christmas Quilt. She lives in Southern California with her husband, Al, where they’re already loading up on firewood so they can sit in front of the fireplace and enjoy some of those wonderful Christmas stories that never grow old. Discover more about Kathi at www.kathimacias.com.

* Kathi has a number of Christmas-themed books:  Return to Christmas: A Novel, The Doctor's Christmas Quilt, Unexpected Christmas Hero, A Husband's Christmas Prayer, A Christmas Gift: A Novel, and A Christmas Journey Home: Miracle in the Manger.

Graphic Adapted, courtesy of Jonathan Borba at Unsplash.

Nurturing Gratitude

Sally Ferguson has a tender heart, but she's no wimp; she is strong in the Lord! In this Thanksgiving and Spiritual Growth UPGRADE, she reminds us we can always choose our attitudes, and when the going gets tough, nurturing gratitude is a healthy, godly choice."Testing pushes our limits, our boundaries and our comfort zones," Sally says.

And I (Dawn) don't like that kind of testing! But I know God has worked through difficulties in my own life, and as He worked in my heart, I found I could say "Thank You" for even those tough times.

Sally continues . . .

Trials remove our masks, our crutches and our vices.

When we have to roll up our sleeves and do the hard thing, we find a deeper reserve within: a strength endowed by the Lord.

Out of that reserve grows an abiding sense of gratitude for what God has given, and an underlying contentment, knowing God is in control.

• He is present.
• He is protective of His own.
• As my pastor-husband says, “God is always present and at work in our lives.”

In Philippians, Paul tells us his secret to contentment; he found strength provided by God.

A recent chain of events revealed that provision for me.

When my mom-in-love fractured her back, her stay in Covid-restricted rehab brought a drop in her ability to function and communicate. We felt helpless as we watched her decline from vitality to memory loss and dependence on others for everything she needed.

My journey from New York to Florida became more than a mission to help in desperate times. It became my heart’s cry to lean on God’s strength.

How do you NURTURE GRATITUDE in difficult times?

Here are some tips that help me:

1. Hum.

Music restores perspective when we lift up praise to the Lord. It’s hard to focus on your problems when words are lilting through your head.

2. Rest.

A nap can do wonders for an attitude adjustment. Curl up in a cozy blanket and float away to dreamland.

3. Exercise.

On a particularly frustrating day, I went for a long walk and paced out my frustrations. It was the change I needed.

How can you add movement to your day?

4. Eat.

What are you putting into your body? Sweets may give a temporary rush, but the sugar drop later can be devastating.

Try fresh fruit, veggie sticks, smoothies, nuts and cheese. Even if your appetite is suppressed by anxiety, healthy snacks and protein can boost your mood.

5. Talk.

Family members and friends are eager to help, but feel helpless to step into your chaos.

Share memories of happy times through phone calls and text messages when you can’t sit around the table and chat. Include them in your thought processes and find your load lighter because of linking arms in the battle.

In Redeeming Love, The Companion Study, Francine Rivers says we need to remind ourselves, “God is still in control.”

When I try that phrase after stating each problem, it turns the problem upside down:  My mom-in-love’s health is declining, but God is still in control.

What phrase can you insert?

"_______, but God is still in control."

I’m grateful for this time with my mom-in-love. We’re sharing memories as we have a nail spa, sing, and watch movies together. Painting her nails helps her feel grand when life isn’t so grand. We’re finding good in the midst of uncertainty and confusion.

One night after getting her in bed, she whispered in the dark, “What’s wrong with me?”

Her heart-wrenching questions mirror ours, as we find no easy answers.

It’s this phase of life in-between the known and the unknown.

Aging gives the benefit of hindsight and the wisdom that comes with experience. But, for some, it also gifts Alzheimer’s and achy bones, muscles that won’t cooperate and loss of buoyance.

How we navigate these passages may vary from one person to the next.

Francine Rivers says,

“When you are depressed, discouraged, or exhausted, find a quiet place to sit and reflect on the faithfulness of God. You may be in a momentary lull, but God is not... keep your mind focused on His goodness and faithfulness. He will never fail you.”

Over the last three months, I’ve been replenished by God’s faithfulness repeatedly.

2 Corinthians 9:11 has shown God’s generosity poured out through our family as we take this path together, and others come alongside us. The Lord stretches us and then equips us so we can bless His name. We are blessed by beautiful grace!

I told my friend Kathy, “I’m finding joy, because I know I’m right where the Lord wants me. I’m finding out I can do what I never thought I could, and that’s a great gift from the Lord.”

She said, “The Lord is empowering you with His strength to fulfill His purpose for this time. And it brings you joy! Wow!”

Yes, His grace is beautiful!

Has testing depleted your resources? Don’t be afraid, God’s grace shows up at the exact time you need it! Which of the five suggestions for nurturing gratitude could you try today?

Sally Ferguson is a caregiver for her dad and her grands, and writing a Bible study for caregivers. She lives in western New York with her hubby of 33 years. Look for her words at EzineArticles, AlmostAnAuthor, Upgrade with Dawn, Amazon and sallyferguson.net

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Junior Moran at Unsplash.