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Entries in Circumstances (9)

Thursday

Apr282016

Five Sure-Fire Joy Robbers

Kathy Carlton Willis is teaching me quite a bit about joy, because I've "watched" her choosing joy in some tough circumstances. In this Attitude UPGRADE, she shares some of her secrets!

“One fall season, we had an abundance of pecans in our yard,” Kathy said. “Mom and I picked up enough to share and plenty to keep over winter for baking. Still there were some left over, so we had a huge box of pecans sitting on our front porch.

"Then we noticed that all the pecans disappeared; only the empty box remained.”

Squirrels? Pecans? What's not to love? I (Dawn) am always eager to hear how Kathy weaves a good story into biblical life application, and she doesn't disappoint here!

Kathy continues . . .

Who would dare come up on our porch and steal our pecans out from under us but not take the box?”

The answer was right before our very eyes.

Squirrels, of course!

All winter long we noticed they seemed to be eating well, but we didn’t realize we were the ones feeding them.

This is a trivial example of being robbed, but I know people who were robbed of their possessions, and they felt so violated. Sometimes the person who robbed them was someone they knew; other times, complete strangers invaded their personal space and stole their belongings.

No matter the circumstances, being robbed attacks anyone’s sense of security. Being robbed of our joy is no different.

But we have control of our joy, unlike when possessions are taken from us.

When joy is stolen, it isn’t so the other party can possess our joy. No, when they do something that causes us to quit being joyful, it’s not as if they are now wearing our joy! They’re usually as unhappy as we are when they have placed us in a negative situation.

Why is it we allow others to steal our joy? Perhaps it’s not even their motive to see us lose our peace and gladness. But when we allow circumstances to push our buttons, our joy departs.

5 Sure-Fire Joy Robbers:

1. A loss

2. Being Misunderstood

3. Being Betrayed

4. Being Rejected

5. Worry & Doubt

The key is to realize no one has access to our joy control switch besides us.

When we feel robbed of joy we must admit—at some level we allowed it to happen.

Our source of joy is not in circumstances or other people, but in the peace of God, which passes all human understanding (Philippians 4:7).

It’s impossible to always be happy.

Bad things happen.

People trash our parade route!

Happiness is based on happenstance or circumstances.

But it’s possible to rejoice with joy that wells up from a God-space deep within us. And when it’s flowing, it naturally bubbles over onto others.

“So you have sorrow now, but I will see you again; then you will rejoice, and no one can rob you of that joy” (John 16:22 NLT).

Restore us, O Lord, and bring us back to you again! Give us back the joys we once had” (Lamentations 5:21 NLT).

In order to experience the abundance of joy, it’s important to deal with any burdens weighing you down.

Here are three specific steps you can take to prevent those joy-robbers.

1. Don’t be anxious. Instead, vent your worries and frustrations to the Lord. (Philippians 4:6)

2. Deal with situations as they surface—don’t let them accumulate. (Ephesians 4:25–27) Control jealousy and anger in healthy ways. Don’t let others push your buttons. (Proverbs 14:29–30).

3. Don’t let someone else engage you in a guilt trip. You don’t need the frequent flyer miles that go along with that sort of journey! (Romans 8:1)

The next time you feel robbed, evaluate your own attitudes. Are you fully relying on God or are you allowing circumstances to dictate your moods and emotions?

Which of these specific steps can help you prevent with your joy-robbers today?

Kathy Carlton Willis shines for God, reflecting His light as a speaker at writer's conferences and women's retreats, and as an author - contributing to three books and writing hundreds of columns and articles online and in print publications. She wrote Grin with Grace with AMG Publishers and has several books releasing over the next few years. She and her husband/pastor, Russ, live in Texas.

Squrrel Graphic adapted, image courtesy of rhamm at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

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Thursday, April 28, 2016 at 7:45AM

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Thursday

Jun182015

6 Ways to Grin When You'd Rather Grit Your Teeth!

Dawn Wilson

I met Kathy Carlton Willis at a writer's conference and was so impressed with her life, not just her teaching. She shines for Jesus! And in this Attitude UPGRADE, she shares one way we reflect God's light too.

"Most of us deal with situations that make us want to grit our teeth on a regular basis. Or at least bite our tongues!" Kathy says. "Here are six ways you can grin with grace instead."

I (Dawn) have watched Kathy endure trial after trial over the past several years and noticed how she smiles despite the circumstances. So I’m curious how she’s learned to grin with grace instead of grimace—which is our natural human tendency. Let’s see what she has to say.

Kathy continues . . .

As I sat down to write this piece for you, I started out as an “expert.” I’m the Grin with Grace gal. I’ve studied all the grace words in the Bible. Written a book. Put together a script and performed a 7-session DVD. I should know it all when it comes to grinning with grace, right?

But before I could even organize my thoughts for this article, I received a note that derailed me. Someone cancelling a commitment with almost no notice for me to come up with Plan B. And two days ago the surgeon told me I needed surgery. So I should be doing less, not more. Here’s a perfect opportunity for me to live what I teach—am I really going to grin with grace in this situation?

What often works for me is to laugh. Yes, laugh! It releases negative energy and helps me develop a healthy perspective on the situation. It acknowledges that the problem itself stinks, but it’s not the end of the world.

It’s temporary. I’ll get past this.

And who knows, the outcome might be even better because sometimes my Plan B is God’s Plan A all along.

So I want to share with you some of the words I found in Scripture that partner with grace to help us through life’s messes. And I’m certainly an expert in that—I tend to get in a lot of messes. Some of my own making. Some that I trip into backwards, never seeing the puddle before it’s too late.

Grace partners with glory, peace, mercy, kindness, eternal comfort, and wonderful hope. Each pairing is a vital life partnership.

How do we grow these virtues in our lives so that we’re prepared when a Life Mess happens? Oh—and it’s gonna’ happen!

#1 – Mercy

"Grace, mercy, and peace, which come from God the Father and from Jesus Christ—the Son of the Father—will continue to be with us who live in truth and love" (2 John 1:3 NLT).

Ask yourself these questions:

How do I acquire God’s mercy in my life?
Do I need to remind myself that it’s there for my everyday needs and not just for my salvation?
How does tapping into God’s mercy in my life help me grow closer to Him?
How does it empower me to provide mercy to others even when I don’t feel like it?

When you pair mercy with grace, you’re equipping yourself to grin despite the life mess going on around you.

#2 – Love

(See 2 John 1:3.) Love is like a spring—it must continue to circulate. New love coming in (from God, from others, from self), and your love flowing out. If love doesn’t circulate, it stagnates.

How is love at work in your life right now, and how does it help you receive and deliver God’s grace?

#3 – Truth

(See 2 John 1:3.) These six virtues that pair so well with grace aren’t merely self-help strategies. They are built on a foundation of truth. God’s Word is truth.

How can you know truth and trust truth more in your Christian walk now than before? Why is truth necessary to help you grow in grace and knowledge of our Lord?

#4 – Peace

"May God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ give you grace and peace" (1 Corinthians 1:3 NLT).

Peace seems to elude us when we need it most. Like in the middle of a Life Mess.

Why do we find it so difficult to experience God’s peace? What gets in the way of peace—worry, doubt, confusion, or chaos? All of these? How can you convince your heart and mind to believe the message of peace and receive its calm assurance?

#5 – Comfort

"Now may our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal comfort and a wonderful hope" (2 Thessalonians 2:16 NLT).

Jesus knows us well enough to know we need a Comforter—and that is why He promised not to leave us comfortless. It’s human nature to need the soothing reassurance of a nurturing presence, especially in the middle of a Life Mess.

Ask yourself these questions:

Are there any areas in my life right now where I could use some extra comfort?
What best helps me experience the soothing comfort of God’s grace?
Does anything blind me from seeing the comfort He sends or hinder me from receiving it?

#6 – Hope

(See 2 Thessalonians 2:16.) Hope is vitally important to help us through our days. Even days filled with blessings still need hope . . . but those days filled with trials . . . I don’t need to explain why we need hope during our Life Messes!

Ask yourself these questions:

Do I tend to be a skeptical person or a hope-filled person?
What sort of light at the end of the tunnel has helped me hold on to hope?
What happens when I’m paralyzed in a funk of dark clouds, with no sign of light?
How can I find hope enough for even those no-sign-of-light days?

In music, grace notes are melodic and compliment the rest of the musical score. All these traits that pair well with grace are like the harmony parts, but grace is the key. Play the musical notes of these six virtues, add in God’s grace notes, and see what song develops.

If that doesn’t make you grin with grace, it’s time for you to check your heart to make sure it’s still beating!

Which of these six virtues might help you grin when you'd rather grit your teeth?

Kathy Carlton Willis writes and speaks with a balance of funny and faith—whimsy and wisdom. Not many funny girls also have Bible degrees! Kathy’s a pastor’s wife, which gives her plenty of opportunities to grin with grace. She shines the light on issues that hold women back and inspires their own lightbulb moments. Almost a thousand of Kathy’s articles have been published in books, magazines, newspapers and online publications. Visit her website, and check out her latest project, the Grin with Grace Bible Study, published by AMG Publishers.

Graphic adapted: Image courtesy of Feelart at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

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Thursday, June 18, 2015 at 8:46AM

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Tuesday

May122015

Changing the Way We Do Change

Dawn Wilson

Julie Sanders' life is in flux right now with many changes, but in this Spiritual Growth UPGRADE, she explains how she stays grounded.

"One thing is certain about every woman’s life; it will not stay the same," Julie says. "Instead of being tormented by transitions and shaken by shifting seasons, sojourners learn how to change the way we do change."

Having experienced many seasons of unexpected change, I (Dawn) agree with Julie. We need a biblical perspective on change.

Julie continues . . .

Regardless of our time of life, status, or circumstances, we are all positioned for change. You may be coming out of a season of upheaval, in the midst of massive change or getting ready for transition. Still, we are taken by surprise, as if we hoped to escape it.

We fear it. Dread it. Try to avoid it. Yet, it comes.

Change can shake our foundation relationally, emotionally, physically, professionally and spiritually. How can a woman survive the waves without being overturned?

Every woman faces change, because every woman is “a sojourner on the earth” (Psalm 119:19). As someone who lives temporarily in a place, we stay for a time on our earthly home. Our lives reflect that transience in regular transitions.

Revolutions often include our loved ones, bodies, homes, professions and identity. We are sojourners and sojourners face change.

We can approach seismic shifts with three actions when the ground shakes and we feel it deep in our hearts.

1. Hold to what doesn’t change.

The Psalmist leaves no doubt about what deserves our trust:

"Forever, O LORD, your word is firmly fixed in the heavens" (Psalm 119:89).

God’s Word is reliable and unchanging, so we can hold to its truth when evaluating decisions and shaping plans. In God’s inspired Word we find comfort for the raw emotions of upheaval and confidence for boldness to move forward into new territory.

When all else feels foreign and uncertain, God’s Word is familiar and secure.

2. Look to the answers God provides.

Change surprises us, making feelings overflow in hot waves. Our own emotions are hard to trust. Well-meaning voices offer advice, but no one takes the place of our all-wise God who remains the sames.

His word is “a lamp to my feet and a light to my path” (Psalm 119:105). It helps us sort through opinions and urges.

A job change, geographical relocation, new church or empty nest begs answers from our loving Father. Instead of downcast feelings, we can hope in the God our salvation (Psalm 43:5).

3. Run to God’s plan for you.

Grief, regret and questions often accompany transition, threatening to paralyze the sojourner with an overwhelmed heart. To press on, let lesser things fall away and reach forward to God’s good plan (Jeremiah 29:11).

Determine not to turn to the left or right (Proverbs 4:27). Instead, when facing opposition or confusion, cry out, “I will run in the way of your commandments when you enlarge my heart!” (Psalm 119:32)

A sojourner may feel uncertain, opposed or weary on the journey of change, but at those moments, sojourners can take the next right step with a heart that says,

“Lead me in the path of your commandments, for I delight in it” (Psalm 119:35).

Know what will not change, look to God’s answers for your feelings, and do what God has marked out for your journey.

We are sojourners, and sojourners face change.

What change are you experiencing in this season of your life? Are you coming out of, in the midst of, or leading up to a change? How prepared are you to sojourn through it?

Julie Sanders is a sojourner who just moved from the sweet tea South to the desert Northwest. The change collides with gaining an empty nest and leaving a professional ministry she loved. Everything will be different! She is grateful for her unchanging God and His hope-filled plans in a new season. Julie's devotional, Expectant, encourages expectant moms with truth and practical wisdom. Discover more about Julie at her blog.

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Tuesday, May 12, 2015 at 8:40AM

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Tuesday

Apr072015

Look Up!

Dawn Wilson

Ava Pennington is an author and speaker with a strong focus on the practical applications of God's Word. In this Attitude UPGRADE, she encourages us to think about our perspective.

“Look where you’re going!” My mother’s words echo in my memory," Ava said. "I had my share of scraped knees as a child, often because I did not look where I was going."

Do you hear those motherly words echoing in your thoughts too? I (Dawn) can't tell you how many times I heard them, usually after I took a tumble. (One of my nicknames in high school was "Klutz-illa." But I digress.)

Ava continues . . .

“Look where you’re going” is good advice. Whether hiking through a forest or setting budget goals to manage my finances, it helps to be aware of where I am and where I want to be.

But sometimes I can be too focused on my goals.

When I’m hurting, I tend to concentrate on the pain or focus on what I think might bring relief.

I’m often like the invalid described in John’s gospel. This man sat in a crowd by a pool believed to have restorative powers. The disabled and infirm anxiously waited for the water to stir. Tradition held that when an angel moved the water, the first person in the pool would receive miraculous healing.

I can only imagine the intense focus of each person’s gaze. Watching for even the smallest ripple, waiting . . . yearning . . . desperate for relief.

But in order to watch the water, they needed to keep their gaze lowered. They were limited by their physical condition, but also limited by a perspective that always had them looking down.

Until Jesus entered the picture.

“Do you want to get well?” (John 5:6) A simple question with an obvious answer. But this invalid was so focused on what he thought was the solution that he failed to recognize the One who was the real solution. Instead of answering the question, he provided excuses for why he could not be healed.

“Sir, I have no one to help me . . . .” (John 5:7)

Looking up is not just a physical posture, it’s a spiritual posture as well.

How often do we focus on our problems or pursue wrong choices for relief? We compound our suffering because we do not look up. We fail to include Jesus in the equation.

Looking up may not immediately change our physical condition. It may not ever change our circumstances. But it will help us maintain an eternal perspective.

I’ve found that looking up requires me to:

1. Be intentional about what I allow to consume my thoughts.

The apostle Paul counseled: “Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things” (Philippians 4:8 NIV).

2. Choose to trust God regardless of my circumstances.

Jesus said, “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world” (John 16:33 NIV).

3. Repeat these two steps again and again!

Practice may not make perfect, but it helps us establish God-honoring habits. Paul wrote, “Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you” (Philippians 4:9 NIV).

“Look where you’re going!” was, indeed, good advice. I just need to remember the eternal component and view my circumstances with my heavenly Father’s perspective. For that, I really do need to keep looking up!

On what do you focus during your trials? Are you concentrated on what you think are the answers to your problems? Look up! Whether or not Jesus changes your physical situation, He will uphold you through it and give you an eternal perspective.

Ava Pennington’s newest book, Daily Reflections on the Names of God: A Devotional, is endorsed by Kay Arthur, founder of Precept Ministries. She has also written numerous magazine articles and is a member of Advanced Writers and Speakers (AWSA) and the Christian Authors Network (CAN). Ava also teaches a weekly Bible Study Fellowship (BSF) class. She is a passionate speaker who engages audiences with relevant, enjoyable presentations. Visit her at AvaWrites.com.

Graphic adapted, Image courtesy of adamr at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

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Tuesday, April 7, 2015 at 8:25AM

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Thursday

Jan082015

Survival Kit for 'Overwhelm City'

Dawn Wilson

Dianne Barker lived in a "city" none of us likes to visit, but she found ways to survive, as she shares in this helpful UPGRADE post.

“Lord, please!” Dianne prayed. “Not Overwhelm City again!”

Overwhelm City. I (Dawn) hate that place. I keep finding myself there. But like Dianne, the Lord is teaching me how to choose wise responses in the midst of struggles and stresses I can't avoid.

Dianne continues . . .

I didn’t see this coming. Over-commitment teamed with complicated circumstances and carried me kicking and screaming back to this place.

One, I could control. The other—not so much.

Saying “no” is a hard choice—but it is a choice . . . and the only fix for over-commitment.

Circumstances are life in action, piling stress upon stress:

crumbling marriages, prodigal children, career adjustments, financial difficulties, relationship issues, care-giving responsibilities, health concerns, assorted calamities, grief, terrorism, and fear.

Most of us relate to the Psalmist’s cry: “Save me, O God! For the waters have come up to my neck . . . the flood sweeps over me” (Psalm 69:1-2).

My husband and I have been taking care of people we love for our entire forty-nine year marriage—our parents, other relatives, and even friends who were close as family.

After leaving a successful journalism career to be a stay-at-home mom, I continued writing. My 1986 book Twice Pardoned was a number-one national Christian best-seller. The ink had barely dried when God led me from my public life as author and speaker to a secluded life—caring for our parents as their health declined.

I spent the next fifteen years in Overwhelm City, struggling to keep my head above water.

Routine housework wasn’t at the bottom of the list . . . it didn’t make the list. I did the gottas: cook, wash dishes, make beds, clean bathrooms, do laundry.

My priorities: driving our parents to medical appointments, grocery shopping, cooking and doing laundry for our three families. One week I made three trips to the coin laundry due to plumbing problems at home and washed a total thirty-two loads. Attending school functions involving our children and attending church completed my schedule.

During that complicated period, the Lord gave me an amazing gift:

peace that I was exactly where He wanted me,
purpose, doing what He designed;
and a promise that someday He would expand my life again.

If this fresh New Year finds you at the outskirts of Overwhelm City, a few tools from my Survival Kit will help you make the most of the experience and sweeten the stay.

1. Simplify life. Eliminate non-essentials.

“He has told you. O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?” (Micah 6:8).

2. Draw near to Jesus.

He said, “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28).

3. Accept that you are here by God’s design.

“But he knows the way that I take; when he has tried me, I shall come out as gold” (Job 23:10).

4. Believe God has a purpose. We don’t have to see it to believe it. If nothing else, He’s developing endurance.

“For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised” (Hebrews 10:36).

5. Keep a teachable heart. Ask: Lord, what do you want me to learn?

“I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you” (Psalm 32:8).

6. Encourage yourself with truth.

“Ah, Lord God! It is you who have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and by your outstretched arm! Nothing is too hard for you” (Jeremiah 32:17).

7. Rejoice. If I rejoice today, I rejoice in these circumstances.

“Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances…” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18).

How will you spend your time in Overwhelm City? (It’s a sweet community of broken people. Visit me anytime. I’m right next door!)

Dianne Barker is a conference speaker, freelance journalist, radio host, and author. This post is adapted from I Don’t Chase the Garbage Truck Down the Street in My Bathrobe Anymore! Organizing for the Maximum Life, which won the Christian Authors Network Golden Scrolls 2014 third-place award for non-fiction book of the year. Her forthcoming book, Help! I’m Stuck and I Can’t Get Out! The Maximum Marriage Maintenance and Repair Kit, will be available at www.diannebarker.com.